Friday, February 6, 2009

limerance and love

"If Leonardo DiCaprio hadn’t slipped under the icy waters of the Atlantic after Titanic sunk, there’s a good chance he and Kate Winslet would have ended up on Revolutionary Road. The film’s deeply unhappy couple bogged down in trench warfare shows what can happen when young love ages badly."

that's the opening of a story i wrote for metro canada about a relationship counsellor. it's part of the workology love theme - how to fix things when they go bad. curiously enough, the psychologist i interviewed for this article had the same advice as the sexologist i interviewed for the previous article.

carolyn humphreys said the main problem that brings couples to her couch is a lack of intimacy. sexy girl rachel dodds said the same message, though she suggested blindfolds and fuzzy handcuffs as a way to push you off balance and compel you and your partner to rediscover trust.

humphreys said couples get stuck in a 'relationship dance,' a repeated pattern of attack and withdraw, or attack and attack, and a neutral third person can help break that trap. that's the first step toward finding our inner jack and rose.

it's also what i'm writing about in Novel #2 at the moment. i've always been curious: what would romeo have done if the montagues and capulets said, 'ok, you two kids have fun'? would he still have wanted her? i think shakespeare wondered the same thing - the ball at which romeo and juliet meet is being thrown by her capulet parents. romeo is there because he's madly in love with ... rose, her cousin. rose goes from the centre of his world to a footnote in seconds - would the same have happened to juliet?

the problem is limerance, which is also the current working title of Novel #2.

the urban dictionary says:limerance:

A floaty, manic, excited, feeling that often arises after meeting or spending time with someone who you are recently attracted to. Also, a fluttering heart, or butterflies in the stomach are symptoms of the feeling. It is similar to infatuation except that it lingers, is usually less lusty and does not have the same negative connotation. Also is usually a temporary state, unlike love. Often thoughts of the person are deep and engaging, resulting in day dreaming. The word was originally founded by a Psychologist in the 1970s

that's my guy's addiction, and i think it was romeo's too.

and here's a lovely song about it by the killers.

1 comment:

  1. You could also use Carrie Bradshaw's version of the word: zsa zsa zu!