Friday, March 13, 2009

checking out the Bowie Bulge at thrillerama


spending the evening with david bowie's eight-foot package looming 15 feet away from you while he prances about with goblins, trolls and a baby is a disturbing experience. on par with having mickey rourke's black and white wrestler ass fill up the big screen, really.

Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)
Put that baby spell on me
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)
Put that magic jump on me
Slap that baby, make him free


so david - sorry, jareth, king of the goblins - sings in the hallucinatory masterpiece that is jim henson's labyrinth. the man's spandex pants are so revealing there must have been a team of strong men behind him at all times, pulling as tightly as they could pull to glue the fabric to his talent. the insane movie was shown in dartmouth at empire 6 as part of thrillerama last night - check out the facebook page for upcoming movies (alien! jurassic park!).

this is basically a kids movie, right? then being a kid must be much more of an erotic, drug-fuelled experience than i recall, and i'm sad my childhood is over. what in the name of goblins is bowie doing - or having done to him - in that still? and why does he want that baby so much? and why doesn't he just ask the pretty teenager out on a date like the pervy old man he is, rather than force her to navigate his mad maze?

shelley thompson was at last night's popcorntastic showing - she plays the step-mom in the opening scenes. guess how many times she's seen labyrinth before last night? zero! it's only her most famous part (other than as barb lahey on the trailer park boys)! anyway, she was a hoot, regaling us with an erotic, non-sequitor joke about a mouse and an elephant (she said she told it to george lucas to secure her spot in the labyrinth) before introducing the film.

as bulgingly amazing as bowie is in this movie, the whole fantastical structure is haunted by the ghost of the man who almost played the goblin king: another king, in fact - the king of pop, micheal jackson.

just watch this magic song, and imagine mj singing it.

You remind me of the baby
What baby? baby with the power
What power? power of voodoo
Who do? you do
Do what? remind me of the baby


he-he! (say that with an mj high-pitch while grabbing yourself).

and what the fuc* is this?

1 comment:

  1. Labyrinth was the first movie I ever saw in the theater. It shapes my day-to-day routine.

    I live and breath that Hallucination sequence. My life will only be complete when I can handle glass balls like Bowie.

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